What is a bully? And what can I do if I am being bullied?
In this lesson, we first defined what makes someone a bully. According to stopbullying.gov, a bully uses an imbalance of power (be it physical strength, popularity, or the access to embarrassing knowledge) to threaten, harm, or control others. This also must take place repeatedly in order for it to classify as bullying.
The students and I discussed the difference between someone being mean once or saying something mean when feeling grouchy, and when someone is mean purposefully and repeatedly. Bullying happens OVER AND OVER AND OVER.
There are 4 different types of bullying:
PHYSICAL: When one uses their physical body to control others. Examples include: hitting, punching, kicking, pushing, pinching, tripping, spitting, and breaking belongings.
VERBAL: When one uses their words to bully. Examples include: threats, name calling, and cruel words.
CYBER: When one uses a form of technology to control others. Examples include: spreading rumors online, sending threatening or cruel emails or text messages, spreading embarrassing or private pictures online or through text.
SOCIAL: When one uses their influence or connection to others to bully one. Examples include: spreading rumors, excluding someone, telling others to exclude someone, playing jokes on someone to embarrass them in front of others, or promising popularity in exchange for humiliating tasks.
Aside from the Bully and the Target (the person being bullied), there are also the Bystander and the Audience.
A Bystander is someone who sees the bullying happening, however they do nothing to stop it. They do not participate in the bullying, but do not help either. They often want to help but are not sure how.
The Audience is someone or a group of people who encourage the bullying. They do this by watching, laughing, and egging on the bully. This can be done passively (by witnessing bullying or by laughing at a joke because they believe it is funny) or purposefully (by passing along hurtful information or rumors to spread it to others).
Three easy steps to remember if one is being bullied:
1. STOP
Tell the bully to stop. "Stop that. Cut it out. I don't like that. That's not funny. That's not cool." Be firm and confident.
2. WALK
Walk away. Put some space and distance between you and the bully. Ignore them. This step can look different depending on the environment.
3. TALK
If the first two steps do not stop the bullying, then the student to tell a trusted adult, be it a parent or a teacher. Together, they can come up with other plans to help, or the adult can reach out to other parents or persons of authority to step in.
For first and second graders, I showed a video of the animated book Howard B. Wigglebottom Learns About Bullies and then discussed the story. We talked about how Howard was bullied repeatedly, the things he did to try and solve the situation himself, and what happened when he finally told a teacher.
For third and fourth graders, I showed a video I found during a lucky Google search. A class of 6th graders created and starred in this video, titled "Strength in Numbers", to show how one student might be affected by bullying. After watching the video, I asked the students to identify the type of bullying, and to identify the bully, the target, the bystander and the audience. I also asked why they thought the kids left the last sign on the girl being targeted, and why they thought the video was titled "Strength in Numbers". This proved to be a great discussion and the kids seemed to make a connection to the video. Even weeks after this particular lesson, I've had students ask me to see the video again. This video can be seen by clicking on the linked title, or on my Resources page.
In this lesson, we first defined what makes someone a bully. According to stopbullying.gov, a bully uses an imbalance of power (be it physical strength, popularity, or the access to embarrassing knowledge) to threaten, harm, or control others. This also must take place repeatedly in order for it to classify as bullying.
The students and I discussed the difference between someone being mean once or saying something mean when feeling grouchy, and when someone is mean purposefully and repeatedly. Bullying happens OVER AND OVER AND OVER.
There are 4 different types of bullying:
PHYSICAL: When one uses their physical body to control others. Examples include: hitting, punching, kicking, pushing, pinching, tripping, spitting, and breaking belongings.
VERBAL: When one uses their words to bully. Examples include: threats, name calling, and cruel words.
CYBER: When one uses a form of technology to control others. Examples include: spreading rumors online, sending threatening or cruel emails or text messages, spreading embarrassing or private pictures online or through text.
SOCIAL: When one uses their influence or connection to others to bully one. Examples include: spreading rumors, excluding someone, telling others to exclude someone, playing jokes on someone to embarrass them in front of others, or promising popularity in exchange for humiliating tasks.
Aside from the Bully and the Target (the person being bullied), there are also the Bystander and the Audience.
A Bystander is someone who sees the bullying happening, however they do nothing to stop it. They do not participate in the bullying, but do not help either. They often want to help but are not sure how.
The Audience is someone or a group of people who encourage the bullying. They do this by watching, laughing, and egging on the bully. This can be done passively (by witnessing bullying or by laughing at a joke because they believe it is funny) or purposefully (by passing along hurtful information or rumors to spread it to others).
Three easy steps to remember if one is being bullied:
1. STOP
Tell the bully to stop. "Stop that. Cut it out. I don't like that. That's not funny. That's not cool." Be firm and confident.
2. WALK
Walk away. Put some space and distance between you and the bully. Ignore them. This step can look different depending on the environment.
3. TALK
If the first two steps do not stop the bullying, then the student to tell a trusted adult, be it a parent or a teacher. Together, they can come up with other plans to help, or the adult can reach out to other parents or persons of authority to step in.
For first and second graders, I showed a video of the animated book Howard B. Wigglebottom Learns About Bullies and then discussed the story. We talked about how Howard was bullied repeatedly, the things he did to try and solve the situation himself, and what happened when he finally told a teacher.
For third and fourth graders, I showed a video I found during a lucky Google search. A class of 6th graders created and starred in this video, titled "Strength in Numbers", to show how one student might be affected by bullying. After watching the video, I asked the students to identify the type of bullying, and to identify the bully, the target, the bystander and the audience. I also asked why they thought the kids left the last sign on the girl being targeted, and why they thought the video was titled "Strength in Numbers". This proved to be a great discussion and the kids seemed to make a connection to the video. Even weeks after this particular lesson, I've had students ask me to see the video again. This video can be seen by clicking on the linked title, or on my Resources page.